Courage

I’m not going to lie.  This morning was hard.

I’m back at work after two weeks of holiday.  Back to over 300 unread emails, meetings, minor disasters and office politics.

And all I want to do is walk out the door and go home again.

When I’m on holidays, I get a clarity about life.  I have the time to stop and smell the roses, think about what’s working, what’s not and what I want your life to be like.  It’s a magical time. Not just because I’m on holiday, but because I’m not at work or at home. I’m away from my obligations, from my commitments and chores.

It’s wonderful 🙂

….And then I’m back at work.  Already I can see the clarity, the calm and the certainty I achieved whilst I was away slipping away, moving out of my grasp.

So how do I hold onto it?  I’m not sure.

In my Year of Living Dangerously – I’ve set down some rules to try and decrease the amount of energy that is given to work and increase the amount of energy that is given to life.  My intention is that I…

  • Set greater boundaries between work and life
  • Remove work email from my phone
  • Schedule how frequently I check my email – down to 4 times a day (as a start)
  • Leave work on time
  • Set stronger barriers so that work does not stop me from doing my personal commitments

But even on day one, I can see how this is going to be difficult.  People have booked me into things outside out of work hours which directly interfere with my life commitments.  And I’m already wavering on my rules and decisions that I came to when I was on holidays

It’s scary saying ‘No‘.  If you put your foot down to say “no, can’t do it” – then you’re not a team player.  You’re difficult and hard to work with. And you want to be seen as a team player.  You’re known as being the supportive and easy to work with one.

It’s much easier, less scary to say “Yes” – moving my life around to accommodate work.  I lack the courage to prioritise my life over work – and that’s the issue.

So I’m working on my courage today.  I’ve said that I can’t be at full-day working session located 1-hour travel from my house by 8am.   Instead, I’ll get there as soon as I can – but probably not until 9 or 9.30am.  The sky didn’t fall when I said no – so that’s good, and hopefully it will give me more courage to say ‘no’ again.

I’m going to continue to work on ‘courage’ this week.  Sticking to my guns and saying ‘no’.  Lets see where it gets me

xx

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